I was in the grocery store this morning and from an isle over I could hear "let him see it, I want to show it to him." I looked over and there was a mom, showing a little 3 month old boy a bunch of toys and a water scooper for bathtime fun. I thought , now, that's a mom. I do that. Every time I buy Ryan anything I have to ask him if he likes it, or if he wants it. If a toy will put a smile on my kids face...he gets it. I know, I know; I am teaching him a wonderful lesson that will translate into him being a total pain in my ass in about 5 years. But I don't care; I love to see him smile. People have asked me why I need to go to the measure that I am for Ryan's birthday, when he won't even remember it. I know he doesn't care, but I do. He wont remember, but I will. These people are obviously not parents. The cake, the party, the balloons, the banner, the invitations; its all for me and Shane. And of course the scrapbook possibilities at your kids first birthday party are endless.
Lately I have been struggling with the very common, first time parent problem: I think My kid Doesn't Like Me. I recently injured my back and I am unable to play with, pick up, or pretty much do anything that involves moving around, with Ryan. (not Ryan exclusively...all children or small animals for that matter) I seem to be losing the bond that I had developed during my famous 6 months as a stay at home mommy/crazy. I see him reach out for Shane and sometimes I get the feeling that he doesn't think that I am fun, or if he even knows that I'm his mom. I'm sure that this will pass. I'm waiting for my new crazy life that involves me, a working mom, and my kid (hopefully soon that will be "kids") to be just plain-old normal life again. If I continue to have a positive role in his life he will come around. Until then, I am making progress with my injury and hopefully I will be as good as new one day soon. I am trying to be more active and in return strengthening my back and core muscles. I will keep everyone posted on my progress.
Side note: I must say that everyday that I go into work I love it more and more. Its hard to hear about people that hate their job. They should work in PM, its one crazy guy swimming with snakes in the community pool away from being the best place & job on earth!
